Non programming fluff the past few days. Family was in town and I’m starting to pack up the apartment I’ve lived in for four years. Subconsciously I seem to think the faster I clean out my apartment the sooner I get to move down to California. I think my subconscious is going to be disappointed when I have a bare apartment and another month of work in Salem.
In other news I am starting to hoard nerdy t-shirts. I bought a couple of Welcome to Nightvale shirts as well as some ‘verse (Whedonverse, that is) related ones from Once upon a Tee (Buffy, guns don’t kill people, and I hate the homeless, specifically).
Getting me through the work days/coding breaks lately are a couple of podcasts I just discovered:
Welcome to Night Vale
and an old favorite, back when I had time to watch their livestream The Co-optional Podcast (formerly TGS Podcast).
Impostor syndrome describes a situation where someone feels like an impostor or fraud because they think that their accomplishments are nowhere near as good as those of the people around them. Usually, their accomplishments are just as good, and the person is being needlessly insecure.
– Geek Feminism Wiki
The lack of posting this week is entirely related to the above quote. I spent the long weekend working on my pre-course work for HackReactor. It was awesome and fun and sometimes frustrating but I was powering through it. Then somewhere on Sunday, I got stuck. It was a stuckness of monumental proportions and looking back on it now I find it funny.
I have a method to my madness with coding. I add things, test them and add some more until I get stuck at a point where either I’m not sure how to implement something to make it do what I want or something I thought I’d implemented isn’t doing what I expected it to. Then I do a bunch of Googling, look at some examples, hack those examples to fit into my code and all is well again.
And that’s how it should have gone when I got stuck on Sunday. Instead I kept banging my head against the brick wall of stuckness, moving some code bits, rewording some code bits, and finally starting all over again in frustration. By Tuesday night as I had a Google Hangout date with my best friends, I was freaking out. Please keep in mind that I’d received this homework on Friday and I don’t have to finish it until I start school in November and at the point of my stuckness I was about half way through with all of it.
So yeah, the freak out was definitely unwarranted. I made it this far but I’m still worried I’m making a bad choice/going to be that one person in their program who doesn’t get a job/nobody will ever love me. You know normal fears.
It’s a day by day process telling myself I’m good enough. Today I finally came back to the thing I was stuck on and sorted out my issues in about an hour. Now I’m on to the last step, my best friend recursion.
Early on in my transition to girl powered coder-dom I made a conscious decision to get everything I could that was pink. I like to flaunt my girliness and for as geeky and tomboyish as I can be, I love pink. My phone cover is pink, my tennis shoes are magenta and now I have a pink cover on my MacBook and a cheapo pink wireless mouse. Next on my list is some sort of bright pink thumb drive. I like to be geeky chic, if you will.
Caturday is upon us again! I spent a bunch of time last weekend with one of the best friends and her mom in her mom’s new house. This in Influenza, her cat, on a very hippie looking rug.
I’ve been in love with Lorde (she’s only 16!) for a little while now, her song Royals has been playing on the Portland alt rock station for the past few months and I immediately went and found all of her music. I’ve been using this song as my confidence boost. I like to repeat “I’ll find my own bravado” to myself as I work on coding or just randomly at work. Not out loud though. I’m not that crazy – yet.
Happy Caturday! I promised pictures of Isaac eventually and here they are. He always seems like a grumpy old man in photos and he acts like that a lot unless you come near him for scritches. Then he’s all happy and purry.